And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
