we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
