She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
