i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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