Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Damn victory sex feels great
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
