David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
