I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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