I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
