did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
