Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
