Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
