I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
