I'm going to rape someone's good day.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
