just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
