hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
