Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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