Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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