Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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