Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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