Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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