I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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