Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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