My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
