nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
