This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
