Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
