Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
