Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
