She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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