I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
