You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
