Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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