his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize