Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
