im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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