WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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