WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
