just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
