I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
