I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
