if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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