We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
