what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Randomize
