i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
my poor anus
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
