I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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