we were pretty classy up until the second keg
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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