i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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