maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
