all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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