Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
