She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
