i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
