Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize