Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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