Quick, to the slutcave!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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