by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
