Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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