I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
