Umm I'm too high to move.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
