just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
