he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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