hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
