My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
