Non-Jews are for practice
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
