so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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