I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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