I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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