The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
